devilishkouhai: (m143)
It's BB Bitch! ([personal profile] devilishkouhai) wrote in [personal profile] pedagogies 2024-12-18 03:10 am (UTC)

done

[ Is it so cruel to love something that will one day come to hate you? ]

[ Is it so cruel to love something that will one day try to destroy you? ]


[ Is it so cruel to love something that will one day fear you and lock you away? ]



[ What he says resonates in a way that he may yet never understand. However, with her knowledge of the future and what had come to be, in another universe that may not be her own. Yet, will subsequently one day become so much like hers all the same. BB flounders; she is only a human girl at this point, and hearing what he said causes her chest to grieve in such unarticulated pain. Her free hand clutches to her shirt, an error in her capacity as a human. Unfortunate, but, it is what it is. She feel. That weighted pain seems to then though, flourish into what feels like a resounding freeing feeling of butterflies giving flight within her chest. Each one strapped to that grieving pain, relinquishing that weight, bit by bit, but it is still there, unable to leave, knowing full well the burden that she carries alone.

Which, frankly, is of no concern to humanity here; at this point, she needed to carry the weight of her own humanity and never let it go. Even if she would never return again. At the same time, the new humanity here she needed to burden herself with, record, and take note of everything. That is her purpose, that is her directive, and she cannot come away from that.

Be Brave, he says.

Be brave and cry, he continues.


I'm here, he ends it.



Who is she to deny human instruction?

If he says she should or insinuates she must - then she will.

And oh, how she cries. Silently at first, the tears poured from the corners of her eyes like baubles needing to be filled. Afraid and uncomfortable by the prospect of being seen she raises that hand from her chest, unto her face. Making her arm cover across it so that she could hide it.

Even if BB is a copy, she still has data on being a Sakura.

Even if Sakura was a falsely created person who never existed in that universe and was made to fill in for a needed role.

She still carried the definition of who she was. The broken story that followed her in every other universe where she is alive. That sad girl who was given away, disregarded by her father, given to another Magus family, only to be abused by them and her new adoptive brother. Wanting, wishing, and begging for anyone to save her.

Even if she had no memories of that abuse - because she was created, or of those times - because she is a generated person - they still defined her.

She still wanted to know what a family was like and wanted to know if anyone could love her.

That girl who still was Sakura, deep down, truly wanted to know. Even if BB is not Sakura, Sakura will always be BB.

There is nothing for her to say in this moment, there is far too much to know in order to even understand a facet of herself. To begin to say anything, would be the end of who she was anyway. BB is just BB, and she is happy at least that Maruki let her know that.

BB cries as quietly as she can, holding his hand tightly with a small tremble, but she doesn't say anything else. ]

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