you're not listening, qifrey there's no telling when i'll have to fight with all these distortions around putting it all on your shoulders isn't practical or sustainable and i ain't doing it
no you can't you don't even know if you really can stop castor without getting hurt, let alone sign up to do it repeatedly i sure as hell didn't ask for your help as a friend so you could turn me into a project that takes up all your time and energy, fuck that
[He's this close to leaving Qifrey on read and wishing for the damn suppressants here and now.]
out of control ones? with users that couldn't stop if they wanted to? help is one thing, what you're doing is trying to take on this whole responsibility by yourself, and that's not going to work for me you even think about what'd happen if these distortions sent you away mid-fight? i'd be up shit creek without a paddle
do i even want to know who you pissed off that bad
[He can't imagine it's Arisato, but he also doesn't know anyone else with multiple Personas.....yikes. There's a delay, then, and the next message is -- more subdued, perhaps.]
i still don't like it, qifrey it ain't a solution
[And the thing is ... he'd actually -- wanted one, maybe. Wanted to actually try to take ownership of it, after all this time.]
[There's another pause in responses. It's exhausting, going in circles about this, but he's --trying, at least. Making an effort to be understood he wouldn't have even considered worthwhile, a year ago.]
everyone needs help sometimes, but think of it this way, if one of your girls had a problem you could deal with for 'em but it meant they'd always be relying on you for it, would you really leave it like that?
listen...i didn't care much when something like this happened last year, when i was just waiting to die one way or the other
i'd say i've made some promises since then, but it ain't about that, honestly if i'm trying at living for real...i gotta find an answer i can live with
[He'd like to think Qifrey, of all people, might understand how that feels.]
this ain't it, so...help me keep looking, at least
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[Aki knew more, of course, but he's been gone for months. And he's hardly about to stress Amada out about this.
...and then there's the guy he nearly flattened the other day, but they haven't exactly talked yet.]
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Perhaps when you wish to engage, contact me?
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there's no telling when i'll have to fight with all these distortions around
putting it all on your shoulders isn't practical or sustainable and i ain't doing it
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But I can manage it.
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you don't even know if you really can stop castor without getting hurt, let alone sign up to do it repeatedly
i sure as hell didn't ask for your help as a friend so you could turn me into a project that takes up all your time and energy, fuck that
[He's this close to leaving Qifrey on read and wishing for the damn suppressants here and now.]
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And this is not a project. You're undertaking a risk so you can move forward. Why wouldn't I wish to help with that?
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help is one thing, what you're doing is trying to take on this whole responsibility by yourself, and that's not going to work for me
you even think about what'd happen if these distortions sent you away mid-fight? i'd be up shit creek without a paddle
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Then it shouldn't be a problem to have me as a plan, would it? You'd still have your backup.
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do i even want to know who you pissed off that bad
[He can't imagine it's Arisato, but he also doesn't know anyone else with multiple Personas.....yikes. There's a delay, then, and the next message is -- more subdued, perhaps.]
i still don't like it, qifrey
it ain't a solution
[And the thing is ... he'd actually -- wanted one, maybe. Wanted to actually try to take ownership of it, after all this time.]
just fobbing off my problem onto someone else
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[ hm. qifrey mulls over this for a moment. ]
Do you think I survived this long all on my own?
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everyone needs help sometimes, but think of it this way, if one of your girls had a problem you could deal with for 'em but it meant they'd always be relying on you for it, would you really leave it like that?
listen...i didn't care much when something like this happened last year, when i was just waiting to die one way or the other
i'd say i've made some promises since then, but it ain't about that, honestly
if i'm trying at living for real...i gotta find an answer i can live with
[He'd like to think Qifrey, of all people, might understand how that feels.]
this ain't it, so...help me keep looking, at least
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he does understand the point. he sighs. ]
All right. I understand. I'll help you keep looking for a solution.